How do people know what they want to be when they grow up??? And I'm almost 29, aren't I grown up enough yet to have a life plan??? I hate that stupid question, where do you see yourself in 5 years? I don't know, the same exact place I am now, the same place I've been for the past 4 years specifically or 10 years generally. Grrrrrr...all I need is a little direction...
Friday, September 18, 2009
Forget Being a Toys R Us Kid!
I'm pretty sure I've decided that the purpose of my life is to slowly find out what I dont' want to do with my life. I know most people start with what they want to do in life and move forward to make that happen but every time I think I've found a career that could bring me joy for years to come I quickly realize that if I actually had that magical, fabulous career I would hate my life in a year or two.
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Measured by One Minute
I am currently in Oklahoma City at Southern Nazarene University for a conference and you know the weird thing? I love it. Not the conference or SNU (though those are both fabulous and add to my love) but Oklahoma! Being born and raised in New England I have expectations, I judge the rest of the country thinking obviously New England is the greatest place in America. And when I tell people I live outside of Boston I usually hear statements to confirm this thought but there is just something about this place. It's not even anything specific. This next sentence is slightly scary for me but I'm writing it down anyway: I feel at home here. I've only been here since Wed and yet I already feel more comfortable and at peace than I do in Quincy and I've been there almost 10 years. I'm not ready to up and move but it does make me think about what I want to be the next step in my life...not that I have an answer yet to that.
So as part of this conference we went the the OKC Bombing Memorial/Museum. There are not words to describe this place. It was just incredible. It's huge and beautiful and real and tragic and sad and hopeful and hard and relaxing/calming. If you are ever in OKC you NEED to go. I'm still reeling from it. When I get back to ENC I'll post pictures of facebook so look there, but I did just want to talk about one particular part of the memorial. On the outside is this crazy, gigantic wall and on one side it has a quote about the purpose of the memorial and on the other side of this wall it just says 9:01 and there is this long, beautiful reflecting pool and at the other end is an exact replica of the first wall except this one says 9:03. The brochure says this shows, "the East Gate represents 9:01am on April 19, and the innocence of the city before the attack. The West Gate represents 9:03am, the moment we were changed forever, and the hope that came from the horror in the moments and days following the bombing." The bomb went off at 9:02am. Literally in one minute everything changed. I just keep thinking about time being frozen for that one minute. Wondering how the people experiencing this felt..was this the longest 60 seconds they ever felt or did they just lose time. One minute they are running late--supposed to be at a meeting at 9, dashing through the hallway and the next thing the realize it's hours later and they are trying to stay alive and make sense of what is going on.
It also makes me think about how I wish time by so much. I constantly am looking to the next event, the next thing on my schedule and I get so stressed out about time, will I be late, will I make it, do I have a minute to freshen up first. I waste so many minutes. What if during that one minute I'm stressing about my next meeting I call my mom instead just to leave a message saying I love her or text a friend I haven't spoken with for a while. What if I say a quick prayer of thank to God or smile at the person rushing by me.
As I stood there surrounded by death, destruction and hope I knew I needed to make my minutes count. As I looked at the chairs (amazing!) representing the people who died I wondered what they had planned from 9:01am to 9:03am and if they knew what would they have done differently. Did they waste time like me or will the time to go faster?
I will try to value every minute I have.
So as part of this conference we went the the OKC Bombing Memorial/Museum. There are not words to describe this place. It was just incredible. It's huge and beautiful and real and tragic and sad and hopeful and hard and relaxing/calming. If you are ever in OKC you NEED to go. I'm still reeling from it. When I get back to ENC I'll post pictures of facebook so look there, but I did just want to talk about one particular part of the memorial. On the outside is this crazy, gigantic wall and on one side it has a quote about the purpose of the memorial and on the other side of this wall it just says 9:01 and there is this long, beautiful reflecting pool and at the other end is an exact replica of the first wall except this one says 9:03. The brochure says this shows, "the East Gate represents 9:01am on April 19, and the innocence of the city before the attack. The West Gate represents 9:03am, the moment we were changed forever, and the hope that came from the horror in the moments and days following the bombing." The bomb went off at 9:02am. Literally in one minute everything changed. I just keep thinking about time being frozen for that one minute. Wondering how the people experiencing this felt..was this the longest 60 seconds they ever felt or did they just lose time. One minute they are running late--supposed to be at a meeting at 9, dashing through the hallway and the next thing the realize it's hours later and they are trying to stay alive and make sense of what is going on.
It also makes me think about how I wish time by so much. I constantly am looking to the next event, the next thing on my schedule and I get so stressed out about time, will I be late, will I make it, do I have a minute to freshen up first. I waste so many minutes. What if during that one minute I'm stressing about my next meeting I call my mom instead just to leave a message saying I love her or text a friend I haven't spoken with for a while. What if I say a quick prayer of thank to God or smile at the person rushing by me.
As I stood there surrounded by death, destruction and hope I knew I needed to make my minutes count. As I looked at the chairs (amazing!) representing the people who died I wondered what they had planned from 9:01am to 9:03am and if they knew what would they have done differently. Did they waste time like me or will the time to go faster?
I will try to value every minute I have.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)