MISSING: One Beating Heart. Last Seen Outside America.

I’ve been back in America for almost two years.  And my body loves being back here.  It loves warm showers, heat and/or A.C. depending on it’s mood.  It loves pop tarts and fresh Dunkins coffee available anytime day or night.  It loves hearing, smelling, and seeing the ocean.

My mind mostly loves being back here.  It loves great conversations with good friends.  It loves problem solving at work.  It loves teaching and connecting with the teens at church.  There’s just one little problem for my mind; it has to keep looking for my heart.

My heart was very unhappy to come home.  It loved traveling, meeting new people, living in community, spending hours in God’s Word because there weren’t any distractions.  So my heart has run away.  It runs back to the places and Peoples it’s known and runs to places yet to be discovered.  It seeks out places of intentional community and simple worship that is more powerful than anything I’ve ever experienced.  

Everyday at work I stare at sand I collected from around the world and long to be back in those places.

And my poor mind has to go and find my heart and convince it that here and now, in America, is a good place to be.  

And there’s a piece of my heart that loves America.  Loves being close to my mom again.  Loves having the friends who bring joy to my heart in driving distance.  But it still aches and longs for other places.

So my heart and mind have conspired and gotten my body on board.  Some of my favorite people from The World Race are working for a Christian school in Paraguay.  And they need a High School English teacher.  I was pretty convinced I would never use my English degree, nor my almost finished Master’s degree.  But I guess God really did have a plan for all that education!

So in August I will board a plane for Paraguay,  a country I’ve never been too but I love already.  I will teach kids I have never met, who I adore already, a subject that brings joy to my mind and heart.

When I moved in to my cubicle I found a bunch of fun pictures and put them up around my cubicle.  Without realizing it, I had Jesus pointing to South America for over a year.  I only noticed it a few months ago.

And hopefully my heart, mind, and body will be reunited in the joy of pursing God and His plan

#4 (A Nerdy Dream Come True)

I love Boston.  I always have and always will.  My love stems from my love of fun facts.  I collect them and Boston is full of them!  Did you know the Boston University Bridge is the only place a plane can fly over a car that is traveling next to a bike and over a train that is traveling over pedestrians that are walking or running over a boat?  Did you get all that?  Here’s a picture to help you out:

 

Photo by Kal Zabarsky

 

I proudly hold a somewhat useless degree in Literature.  So as you can imagine I love fun facts about books!  Recently I was on a walk and discovered Henry Wadsworth Longfellow’s childhood home is just blocks from my office!  I almost peed my pants with excitement.  Yes I am a nerd.  Hence the title  of this blog.

 

You may not be able to tell but I'm losing my mind right now!  Longfellow LIVED HERE!!!!

 

So a decade ago I discovered a super fun fact.  There is a hotel in Boston. (not the fun fact)  In that hotel is a restaurant. (not the fun fact)  And in that restaurant literary greats used to hang out and talk books, politics, science, and anything else that insanely creative and smart people talk about. (THAT’S THE FUN FACT!!!!!)  They were called the Saturday Club because one Saturday night a month they would meet for dinner and conversation.  And by they I mean Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, Charles Dickens (when he was in town), Oliver Wendell Holmes, Ralph Waldo Emerson and more!

 

Oh and Robert LOWELL.  nbd.

 

And this hotel/restaurant is still open and operating! (more fun facts: JFK proposed to Jackie O there, Malcolm X and Ho Chi Minh worked there and John Wilkes Booth also hung out there!).  And so I have wanted to go since the day I learned this fun fact.  But you know sometimes life happens and all of a sudden it’s 10 years later and you realized this amazing (and somewhat easy) bucket list item still has not been completed. 

 

They made it easy and gave me a fun fact display!

 

I lived less than 10 miles away for 8 years.  I went into the city countless times.  But never went to eat at the Parker House.  Why?!  Why do we sometimes neglect to do things that are completely attainable?  I’ve been thinking a ton about being intentional with time.  As I look back on the past year I realized I missed a lot of good life living time.  I went into survival mode because of how chaotic and unbalanced my life felt and forgot to enjoy the every day, good things around me.  This year I want to be different.  I want to drive 110 miles one way just to have dinner with a friend.  I want to go for walks and be surprised by what I see.  I want to buy plane tickets to visit far away friends and not worry about what I could be doing with the money because I know relationships are so much more important than anything else.  I want to look at the clouds and have my breath taken away by their sheer beauty and breadth! 

And so I have.  And it’s been amazing!  So when my birthday rolled around and the Best Friend asked what I wanted to do; I immediately responded with Saturday brunch at the Parker House!  (I know they met for dinner but I love breakfast foods way more than dinner)

 

That omlet was incredible!  And there I am thinking great literary thoughts, or what I was going to wear on a date. And finally all the hotels conference rooms are named for authors.  Clearly these people get me!

 

I honestly felt more intellectual, better read, and more capable the minute I walked in!  I immediately decided I could write a book.  The atmosphere, food, and company were perfect.  Though the Best Friend and I spent more time talking about men than books but I think that’s ok.  I’m sure they complained or told funny stories about their wives when they were being all geniousy.   The whole time we were there all I could think was, “Why did I wait so long to do this?!”  I was overwhelmingly thankful for the chance to slow down and enjoy life in a famous landmark with someone so special.  We didn’t rush.  We didn’t worry.  We just were.  It was awesome.

As we enter this crazy holiday time are you in survival mode or are you still able to stop and smell the…mistletoe? Are there tricks you have to slow yourself down and enjoy the true spirit of this time—thankfulness, joy, peace, love, and others? 

 

"Lives of great men all remind us, we can make our lives sublime, and, departing, leave behind us, footprints on the sands of time."

~Longfellow

(ok one more fun fact because I can!  Longfellow is accredited as the one who translated Dante’s Inferno into English AND most people believe the majority of that work happened with The Saturday Club!!!!  Isn’t that incredible!?!? Anyone, anyone?  Bueller?)

 

And if you are wondering about why this post starts with #4 click here.

33 Things in 365 Days. Easy Right?!?

On Friday I turned 33.  Which to be honest seems like a pretty insignificant birthday.  It's not one of the "big" ones.  You know, 16, 18, 21, 30, 50 and so on.  So it would be easy to have pretty low expectations for this year.  But lately I've been learning a lot about making each day matter, to not just sit back and let life happen.  And deep in my heart I can feel that this is going to be a good and exciting year.  

Mmmmmmmm Pumpkin Cupcake and Tea for Birthday Dessert

To be honest 32 was a hard year.  I'm glad it's over.  But then 29 was a really hard year also and then 30 ended up being incredible!  So I've got high hopes for this year!

To help that happen I've come up with 33 things I'd like to accomplish this year.  This list will certainly keep me busy and push me to be intentional about my time.  

So without further ado (in no particular order):

1. Finish my thesis
2. Eat a lobster--the messy, gross way
3. Go to a county fair
4. Saturday brunch at the Parker House in Boston (11/09/13)
5. Travel to a new place
6. More time at the gym
7. Visit friends more
8. Tour a lighthouse
9. Spend more time with mom
10. Blog More
11. Finish National Novel Writing Month (NANOWRIMO)
12. Bake something from scratch and have it taste awesome!
13. Hike a mountian
14. Become more intentional with worship
15. Raise awareness and support for the water crisis we are facing
16. Actually finish a scrapbook
17. Learn to read music
18. Make the perfect pineapple upside down cake
19. Take stairs instead of elevators
20. Cook a fancy meal with multiple courses
21. Give more, save some, spend less
22. Finish Storyline
23. Roller skate more often
24. Sponsor a child
25. Act like an adult--regular doctor appointments
26. Try skiing--terrifying!
27. Get to know my neighbors 
28. Cut back on my coffee intake 
29. Take the art tour at Boston Public Library
30. See a moose
31. Finish Richard Foster's Celebration of Discipline and incorporate some of them into my daily life
32. Drive the Kancamangus Highway in the fall
33. See WaterFire in Providence

Spoiler Alert! I've already accomplished one of the lists!

Should be easy right?!?!  

I figure I can accomplish number 10--Blog more by writing about these experiences which I'm sure will be somewhat hilarious since I'm usually a walking train wreck.  I'll probably get lost and end up in Canada while trying to accomplice number 32 or break an arm while trying 26 or discover an allergy on number 2..  You won't want to miss it so be sure to subscribe so you don't miss a story :)

For the Love of Nature

I’ve never been what you’d call a wilderness explorer or nature lover.  Yeah I’ve always loved looking at oceans, lakes, and rivers since I grew up in Maine.  But that’s about it. 

The Saco River near North Conway, NH, insanely beautiful and insanely cold!

 

But recently that’s all changed.  Lately I cannot seem to get enough of the outdoors.  I want to go for hikes, sit by water, and lay in brightly colored leaves that have fallen. 

Adorable yard in Freeport Maine.  I mean who doesn’t want to sit there with a book and a cup of coffee!?!?

 

And it hit me the other day as I was watching the cheesiest Christmas romance movie you can find (don’t judge) that it’s because I know God is wooing me through all this. 

It’s been a rough couple of months to be honest.   Things I knew and trusted disappeared.  Thoughts of love and joy were replaced with loneliness and bitterness.  But through it all I knew that God was there.  He loved me and was comforting me.  I was expecting Him to ease my pain during the tough days.  And because I was living with this expectation I saw His gifts and declarations of love everywhere I went.

I heard Him say He created me with a beauty that shines brighter than the changing leaves I saw shining through the rain near Sebago Lake. 

I heard Him say that His love for me is so much bigger than the sky that seemed to go on forever as I looked across the marsh in Old Orchard Beach.

I heard Him say I will never understand the height or depth or width of His love for me and that I should just enjoy it and rest in it as I stopped for a minute on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere Maine.

 

And the other crazy part?  In all of these places there was such a light beautiful breeze.  Not a heavy wind or awful lack of.  Just the perfect breeze.  I could literally feel the whisphers of God in those moments.

And as I heard these things I wanted more of it.  I wanted to see more of His beauty and His creation.  I wanted to be wooed more.

 

And it got me thinking about how much I’ve lost the expectation of God moving in other ways.  And wondering how amazed I would be if I could expand my expectation to all areas of my life. 

 

What would I see if I daily expected God to do miraculous things? 

 

What would I hear if I expected God to speak to me every time I read Scripture, sat in His presence, worshiped? 

 

What would I experience if I expected God to direct my daily steps. 

 

I want it.  I want it all.  As God has been overwhelming me with His love, I want to be overwhelmed by it all. 

 

 



The World Race

So it's all set, I'm going.  I've paid the deposit, started writing my letters and now the route has been posted!  It's all very very real right now!  Part of the trip is to blog so people can be connected to what's going on so I imagine even though I was so excited to get back into this I now have a new place to write so check out my official blog:
http://melissalowell.theworldrace.org

There's also a link on the left if you so feel inclined to support me financially in this life changing adventure!  Also here's the link for the route:
http://www.theworldrace.org/?tab=routes&subtab=july-2011

I am really going to do this...

Thursdays are rough for me.  I spend most of my day in the office which if you know me I don't like being stuck at my desk.  I get bored.  I need lots of human interaction.  Also tonight is the first of Munchies with Melissa so at 9pm I was having one of my floors over for some community building.  I needed a nap.  Desperately.  So I laid down and fell asleep for about 20 minutes and then woke up completely anxious.  I wasn't late so I didn't know what was going on.  I decided to get up, check some email and run some errands.  When I opened my email I saw one from WR.  I wasn't expecting to hear from them for another week.  And yet, here it was.  I was accepted.

I realized a small part of me was hoping I wouldn't get accepted so it would be them making the final decision for me.  I immediately burst into tears.  This is it.  This is real.  Now or never.  Am I doing this?  And in my heart I knew, I am really going to do this.  I am going to completely and utterly walk away from my life for 11 months.  I'm going to spread the love of Christ across the world, raise an obscene amount of money to do said sharing, spend some nights sleeping in a tent and (most troubling of all), probably have to dig a hole to poop at times.  I am not this girl.  Am I?

As I've been telling friends I'm going to do this, the thing that amazes me again and again  is how not surprised they are.  I thought people would think I'm crazy, I mean I mention the money and pooping in a hole and yet they still think it's perfectly natural for me to do this.  Two quotes from friends, "I think sometimes people forget how awesome they are.  I think Melissa's forgotten." and "I'm sure your mom has been preparing for this for the past 9 years.  When you came back from the Balkans it was your whole life, the greatest thing you've ever done.  She knew you were going to have to travel again, she's just glad it took you 9 years to leave again."  And I started to remember the year I came back from Youth in Mission.  It was all I thought about all the time.  Going back, being a missionary, living a simpler, more Christ centered life.  And then I graduated and Sallie Mae started knocking on my door.  I got a job, an apartment and a normal average life.  And I forgot myself.  I won't go so far as to say I am/was awesome but I was set on changing the world and telling everyone about Christ.  And I've forgotten that.  I don't recognize that girl, but that's about to change.

My last "test" was telling my mom.  If she said I was crazy and wouldn't support me then I would seriously consider not going but nope, she's fine with it.  I really feel like mom secretly knew and did all this research.  She was calm, cool, collected and totally supportive.  Not what I was expecting.  So now I make plans.  Now I practice hiking, researching the best way to dig a hole in the ground to poop in, buy a tent and a sleeping bag and try to spiritually, mentally, physically and emotional prepare for something I'm pretty sure is impossible to be prepared for.  Prayers are always appreciated....

Eeekkkkkk!!!!

Interview today at 2pm.  Fingers crossed....